It may seem small, if I was to share it, and perhaps even irrelevant to some, not at all something to be taken into consideration, or to be concerned much about. And that may be well and good. After all, God does not call us all to the same tasks, which really are to be works from the heart.
I do carry a burden, and it seems too heavy to bear at times. I struggle to make sense of it when I consider Jesus’ words of invitation, that when we come to him, with our burdens and heavy loads, he will give us rest. That we’re to take his yoke on us and learn from him, since he is meek and lowly in heart. And that we will find rest for our souls. I consider that, and think I haven’t sufficiently come to Jesus.
But one of our pastors suggested to me that perhaps what I experience is like Paul’s thorn in the flesh, even a messenger of Satan which tormented him. Three times he pleaded with the Lord to take it away from him, but the Lord finally answered Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness.” In Paul’s case he had the surpassing great revelations, and Jesus himself had appeared to him more than once. In my case I have nothing at all of the sort, and yet the Lord may know that to keep me humble he has to do something, though really on a much lesser scale all the way around than what Paul experienced.
Another consideration is the thought from Mordecai to Queen Esther that she may well have been brought to her position “for such a time as this.” And the place and circumstance I find myself in can become part of God’s answer to my prayer, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” The issue I face is something I can prayerfully work in regard to, do what I can, and look to God for his answer.
I would love to see the day come when the burden might be lifted and gone. I think in a significant respect I need to learn much better how to cast my burdens on the Lord, all my cares on him with the knowledge of his faithfulness and care. And I don’t approach this only by myself to look to God for his grace and wisdom. But I do so in the community of the church, my wife knowing about it along with our pastors.
I am thankful for all the relief the Lord does seem to bring most everyday from this suffering. As we look forward to the day when all of that will be past. Even as we continue to groan with the Spirit in our prayers, that God’s will might be done, with others in Jesus for the world.