holding back by embracing weakness

I live away from bookend meetings and heady, mind-boggling (or at least challenging) projects, instead in the loud, at times mildly toxic, dusty, but relatively clean (easily the best I’ve worked in, probably as good as it gets for factory work), sometimes frantic, and often challenging, as well as slowly dying world of the factory. We do have fun there in the midst of getting everything done. And everyone there is a good worker, in fact we all complement each other in some way or another, probably in different ways.

One of the themes I easily get caught up in, much more so in the past than now, is the propensity to keep my nose to the grindstone and only “carry on” when we it is easy to do so. Sometimes I still find myself lashing out metaphorically at machines which besides not always being user friendly, and seeming to lack consistency from day to day as to how to keep everything running well (one machine, anyhow), have so many variables, some inside which we can’t (at least not yet) control (again, the same machine, ha). In other words when things seem unmanageable. But for the most part we can work around all that and at least keep production running while we’re working to get the matter resolved.

I have the weakness of not being happy or willing to participate in fun when I have to concentrate on what is going on, except in intervals. And I can judge others, actually misjudge them, if they are not doing what I think they are supposed to do. Of course I’ve been on the receiving end of that as well, albeit rarely. Such is life.

One of the many ways I get to live out my weakness in and through Jesus is simply to hold back, and not say a word, in fact not even get angry, or squelch what frustration may rise up, all in the name of being weak. Being weak has its strong points. After all, I can’t take matters in my own hands then and end up being a fool by saying or doing something I should immediately and will have to eventually take back, asking for forgiveness and perhaps impacting a relationship with another worker, in my case a brother or sister in Jesus since I work at a Christian ministry. And the spirit, or “attitude” can be picked up as well. I can get around that, again by embracing weakness. In this setting embracing weakness involves the decision not to judge, also to leave room for growth (for them I was thinking, but also for me), and to live in a way which hopefully will help anyone put up with whatever is wrong with and what they might not like about me.

This is a new way of learning to embrace weakness, for me, one which I like. Most of the time, admittedly, I still don’t actually like learning to embrace weakness, but I think slowly I’m learning to like it, with the hope and prayer that I may know Christ’s strength in it. That we in Jesus would learn to embrace weakness, yes the weakness of Jesus that we might know his strength, for his sake, together for the world.