asking God to search our heart

If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:19-24

I’m not much impressed with a lot of the critiques that circulate these days from standards which are taken for granted. There usually is some truth in error, but like so many things, the issues end up being more complex than that. Certain standards are set forth by the world and even by us Christians. And yet we need to read our entire Bibles. Every verse. I would say even in ecclesiastical/church settings (or at least in our own reading), even if we have to explain some of it in terms of Ancient Near East writings, the context in which it was written, so that the meaning may not be precisely what we think. And we need to keep reading the entire Bible, cover to cover. That would help solve some of the tendencies prevalent among us.

Having said that, I in no way am exonerating all the words of the psalm quoted above, as if we are to conform to such as followers of Jesus. Jesus taught a new way indeed, that we are to love our enemies and pray for them. And yet there’s something to be said for all of this. The imprecatory psalms asking for God’s intervention, even judgment on the enemies of the faithful seem to me to be echoed in the last book of the New Testament, of the Bible, Revelation (6:9-11). Or perhaps the martyrs were praying for their enemies, for their salvation, while at the same time praying for God’s judgment on them. We know the latter is true.

There is also no doubt that we are caught up at times in an air in a relationship which is both on edge so that it can go over the edge at times. Although this isn’t precisely what the psalmist was saying above, we can harbor wrong attitudes even in our struggle over perceived injustice, which although perhaps having merit, isn’t of the grace of our Lord that we are to carry toward others. If only we could see ourselves in that same light sometimes.

And so the prayer to ask God to search our hearts is appropriate, especially certain times in our struggle. And sometimes we need to keep it going, even after some breakthroughs, over longstanding grievances or difficulties with another. We need God’s help and that need will be ongoing in this life.

I like the New American Standard Bible’s rendition of this prayer in the words: “And see if there be any hurtful way in me…” And of course the end of the prayer: “and lead me in the way everlasting.”

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