having it all together (when one doesn’t)

This is what the wicked are like—
always free of care, they go on amassing wealth.
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
and have washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been afflicted,
and every morning brings new punishments.
If I had spoken out like that,
I would have betrayed your children.
When I tried to understand all this,
it troubled me deeply
till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

Psalm 73

I “let my hair down” to my wife, to our priest/pastor, maybe to a good friend now and then. But other than that, I don’t, or I may give someone just a glimpse of what I’m going through if they ask me.

Most of the time I don’t either think or feel that everything is alright. I am referring to circumstances in life. But I’m always to think and with that I sometimes feel that God is in control working his judgment and salvation over time in everything. Though when one sees wickedness continue unabated or largely unchecked and even abounding, one can begin to wonder. We have the assurance that God’s good judgment and complete salvation will come, that there is coming such a day. In the meantime, God judges in incremental ways surely mostly beyond us. God is merciful, not willing that even the wicked should perish, but that all would come to repentance.

My way of entering the sanctuary is to continue in the gospel though the church in the word and in its sacramental and common life. And to continue on in the word and prayer daily, along with what fellowship I may receive in the course of a day.

So to a signficant degree, or we might say essentially, I do have to have it together especially around our grandchildren or other young people and on my job. One has to sometimes take the fire and go on, in fact oftentimes that’s the case in our following the Lord. There are times when we might gently and tentatively share our struggle or concern. But by and large we confine such interaction with God himself, as we see over and over again in the psalms.

And so this morning, as I start a new week, I know I need the Lord’s wisdom and strength. I know some things are beyond me, but that I must keep after it one thing at a time. With the promise that as our day is, so will our strength be (Deuteronomy 33), that God will indeed meet all of our needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4).

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