Ananias protested when the Lord commanded him to go to Saul of Tarsus, the great persecutor of the Christians. This was the word he had received:
The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying.”
The other day I felt exhausted and rather discouraged. And for some good reasons, as well as just some of the normal wear and tear we all face. Of course we face the special difficulties as well. But at any rate, I felt at a low ebb, and in a way which I’ve learned to be concerned about if it comes. I am not so nearly concerned about feeling full of fear and at a complete loss under satanic (demonic) attack, or within one of my anxiety or regret attacks, even though we really dislike any of that. But that is part of living in this world, not that I can’t grow in grace so as to at least handle such things better. But when one’s spiritual life seems to take a turn in which not the faith, but faith is questioned, then one needs to be concerned. Not to say that even that can’t have its normalcy in the lives of the faithful. We note some of the passages in the Bible which questioned God and God’s promises (Habakkuk, some of the psalms, Jeremiah, Job, etc.). For me at that point, I was ready to do the best I can by those closest to me, particularly my wife, and simply get ready for my own end, not at all in me ending it, but just thinking that it could be near, as so much of life seemed so futile.
I continued in that state for some time, at least for a number of hours it seemed. Coming out of it was characterized by one thing I recall vividly enough: Praying. I began to really be in prayer with a spirit of prayer, I’m sure the Spirit helping me to pray. And I contineud on in prayer, relatively really a short time at it, but for me a long time. That seemed to me either how I came out of the low point I was in, or what that looked like when I did. Certainly God was at work; I was at God’s mercy.
To be in prayer is a privilege for us all, a vital aspect of our life of faith in God. When anxious we’re to pray (Philippians 4:7). For preparation for spiritual warfare and for the evil day in that, we’re to pray in the Spirit for all of God’s people with all kinds of prayers and requests (Ephesians 6:10-20).
Already in this new day something greatly bothers me which I can’t take back. I know in my mind that the best I can do is to pray, and eventually act on it with the best judgment in wisdom which I can find.
But I hope God’s witness of the converted Saul of Tarsus who became Paul the Apostle to the Gentiles will be God’s witness in my life to the end, by God’s grace in and through our Lord Jesus.