What is perhaps the typical default position in which we humans live? And many things in this life can exacerbate that. I would say a sense of angst, as in anxiety and fear, oftentimes taking away all of a person’s inward sense of tranquility, of peace. And a lostness in which one is hanging on for dear life just to keep going, sometimes grasping after empty, harmful things to give meaning, and as pastimes.
I used to think that down the road my experience would get much better. What has happened is perhaps a bit complicated. Most of the time I live in the same experience I’ve lived in for years. It’s just that I’ve learned to manage it much better, through faith and prayer, through as much a singular focus on God’s word and the gospel as possible. Not that I’m concerned about measuring up to some kind of standard on that. Actually a little bit goes a long way, even as Jesus said, if we have a faith as small as a mustard seed. So that, yes, I do seem to experience more of the sense of God’s presence and peace.
As one gets older, it doesn’t seem like the trials either go away, or lessen, though in some respects they might, simply because in faith we learn more to rest in God, and in God’s promises found in scripture, in and through Jesus. Oftentimes we encounter even more difficult things which come with living longer and the experience that brings, along with all of the wear and tear of life in getting older.
I think a healthy, scriptural realism is key in all of this. I know of people who I think may have left the faith because they were told such and such would be the case if they had enough faith, but they found it not to be so. They might then be blamed for lack of faith, which wouldn’t help, either. Fact of the matter, life in some respects is hard in and of itself. All of the problems we encounter, sometimes in heaps will verify that. The key is how we handle those problems.
Angst and lostness can be replaced with a sense of God’s presence and peace, if we don’t let the former get us down. It may be best and most healthy to think of them as commingling. Ordinarily one will displace the other, but we can’t let our experience of angst and lostness impact our faith. Such experience is not either faith, or lack of it, but rather just the normal default postion of us humans. But an experience which ironically can help us to faith as we look to the one who is Savior and Lord, and seek to live in and according to God’s word fulfilled in him. Such an exercise, every bit as ongoing as the sense of lostness which in this life naturally accompanies our humanity.