accepting spiritual conflict and the discomfort that comes with it

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power. Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.

Ephesians 6:10-13

When I have to do something public even simple, oftentimes, in fact almost always I experience what I would call a spiritual conflict in something more or less sudden and troubling. So that whatever sense of well being I have is taken away. And then too often what I had to do was affected by it in a way which didn’t seem helpful.

Instead what I’m learning is that we have to do our best to draw our strength from God, put on what’s called here in the passage above, “the whole armor of God,” and stand, or you might say, take our stand. That means I pray and fight spiritually and seek God’s help. But also why I’ve been looking at this passage often lately, memorizing it in a new (for me) version of Scripture, and seeking to apply it. I’m finding that it’s important to be willing to go through the most difficult part of that, not bailing out by trying to do it my own way, whatever that might be. But doing what we’re told to do in the rest of this passage.

Standing when all inside of me doesn’t want to. Hopefully as I learn better application which follows below, that will help. Although to a significant extent because of what I do understand and practice, this has already been in place, though it needs to improve. And then simply to stand in God’s strength with God’s armor for this spiritual battle when it may seem pointless.

Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist, and put on the breastplate of righteousness. As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace. With all of these, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Pray in the Spirit at all times in every prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert and always persevere in supplication for all the saints. Pray also for me, so that when I speak, a message may be given to me to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it boldly, as I must speak.

Ephesians 6:13-20

In and through Jesus.