why do I write?

Periodically, ever since a trusted pastor asked me why I write, I check myself on this, trying to understand better, myself. In 2004, I began to visit blogs, the first couple years on Scot McKnight’s Jesus Creed blog, which I still go to to this day. Around 2006, I started my own blog at the suggestion of one of the Jesus Creed  readers and contributors. I was surprised to find that I could actually write a post. And even Scot took to liking my blog. So I thought I must be on to something.

Back in those days, blogs and blogging was hot. Almost everyone was reading a blog. Nowadays, it has cooled off quite a bit, except at some quarters, like where I work, Our Daily Bread, where their ministry blogs get exponentially more hits than the few my blog gets. At the beginning I was on Blogger and didn’t know how many hits I was getting since that wasn’t what I wanted to be in it for. I lost my original blog for a year and a half, until it mysteriously returned. On the day I lost it, I went to WordPress. And (on Blogger) probably a year and a half into blogging, I started to do it daily, as that was recommended for the best impact for readers and blog followers at the time. Besides, I do better whatever I do, regularly, probably daily. And getting back to the point on stats, WordPress simply has that in your blog, whether you want it or not. I don’t think I have to worry about getting a big head considering the number of hits I get.

I think the most basic answer to why I write is simply because I am a writer. I am one who thinks, and thinks and thinks some more. And it’s mostly been in and about scripture. I’ve been in God’s written word, the Bible for more than four decades now. And in the past, year after year, I’ve listened to it being read from the New International Version. That is an accurate and highly readable translation. I still think it’s the best at combining those two traits. And so I learned my English in writing from hearing that. And that word more and more penetrated my mind, heart, and life. Not that I lived up to that, and of course we need grace every day to have any hope of growing in that direction.

I also write, because I’ve sensed a calling on my life right from the beginning of my Christian journey, and perhaps a bit, before. To share God’s word with others, and be a pastor. To this day I go to a nursing home on Sundays to do a worship service which includes teaching the word, along with visiting afterwards. So that is my passion, as well. In my heart of hearts, I’m a pastor. So part of my writing is sharing my heart that way. Trying to help people in all the ways a pastor should.

And I’m a thinker. I’m forever and always thinking on something. That can drive me nuts, and those around me if I don’t keep my mouth shut. Thankfully my wife is used to it, and listens. And just like anyone who knows a few things about the subject they’re engrossed in, be it sports, music, politics, or whatever, I have learned, and more precisely am learning, mainly from the Bible itself, but also through the tradition of the church, especially the evangelical tradition I’ve been a part of for so many years. And thinking on scripture makes one think on life. You become a student both of scripture, and of life. You try to read both.

Bloggers are a dime a dozen, mostly just reading each other’s blogs nowadays. Of course there are many good ones out there. And anyone can write a book if they want to. If the Lord gives me the time and health to do it, I would like to write a book or two myself. But we’ll see. It would be like along the lines of my blogging. Hopefully helping someone, maybe a few along the way. And helping me sort out some things myself.

Blessedly, not everyone is like me. That without question would be a boring world. We need each person, and the gift from God that person is, with the gifts they have. But I try to do my part, and a big part of it, it seems, is in and through my writing. And as I always like to say, all of this always in and through Jesus.

 

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memorizing scripture

I have hidden your word in my heart
    that I might not sin against you.

Psalm 119:11

For years I have avoided memorizing scripture, preferring to read and meditate on it. And not really studying it much, either. I think clearly meditating, and reading (or hearing it read) are promoted in scripture, and studying it, included, as well. I’m not all that clear that memorizing it is, unless this verse might point to that. I think it’s true that in Jewish tradition would be rabbis would memorize large parts of the Pentateuch, maybe all of it. But for me tradition is not on par with scripture itself.

At work I would carry on my practice, with a small New Testament/Psalms & Proverbs. I would look at the next verse or part of a verse, with a clip to help me find my place, ponder it while I was working, and then on another brief time of waiting (if I had it, sometimes between breaks, I didn’t have the opportunity) look at the next phrase, and so on, pondering as in meditating on its meaning.

Recently they banned the use of phones on the floor, so I figured it would be best for me to quit looking at my Bible now and then, figuring some would think that unfair. My team leader thought I was probably right. So before a work week, I’m adopting the practice of memorizing a portion of scripture that I can meditate on throughout the following work week. The first one I chose was Psalm 19.

Decades ago as a young Christian I memorized whole books, though I’m not sure just how well I did that. I would be able to say a part, but really didn’t try to say it all together on a regular basis, or more likely, at all, so that it’s doubtful I really had it all in memory enough to recite it verbatim, but it was still a good exercise. Now that we are taking our grandchildren to an evangelical church which we intend to join soon, not to mention the fact that I’ve been working over 17 years for an evangelical ministry steeped in the world (Our Daily Bread Ministries), the tradition of memorizing scripture, usually just verses, but better yet, passages, like the tradition of having one’s quiet time (something else I haven’t done) is big, or at least present. So that this new practice of mine hopefully will kick in, and become an ongoing habit to help me meditate on God’s word.

Something I look forward to, as I seek to hide (or treasure- NRSV; NASB) God’s word in my heart.

Christian meditation

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Psalm 1

In the Christianity Today edition on Billy Graham’s life, there is a most interesting article on his devotional life, or as Evangelicals call it, “devotions,” or “quiet time.” It is aptly entitled: “An Intentional Intimacy” with the subtitle: “Billy Graham kept the focus on God at all times. How did he do it?”

I’ve done some quiet times which were marked by God’s presence, and used to practice that to some extent, but by and large over my Christian life, I’ve really not been much of one to have a “quiet time” with God each day, or have “personal devotions.” My own way of doing something of the same thing was more to be in the word by listening to it being read over the years, and having my own copy of scripture close at hand. Now I try to be in the word in a number of ways throughout the day as much as possible. But I think I haven’t done as well as I could have in making it more personal between myself and God. Too often it is more or less just cramming a lot of scripture in my head. Since it’s God’s word, that can be good because it’s alive and active and brings needed judgment and correction to us, along with salvation. But there’s also the danger of not acting on what we know or profess, so that we are living in a measure of deception. And in becoming proud over what we think we know, over our head knowledge. But if we press on in scripture, and really ponder it before God, we should remain humble because of its depth, and the realization it gives of just how much we actually don’t know, along with how dependent on God we actually are.

Christian meditation can include tradition and experience, but is primarily marked by pondering the words of scripture, and the message found in it. There’s surely some importance in doing the former, but it is all necessarily based on the latter.

We are blessed, or truly happy, as we learn to meditate on God’s word day and night, giving both our attention, and our lives to it, in devotion to God and God’s will, in and through Jesus.

meditation on God’s word

Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

Psalm 1

When I think of meditation, I think of meditation on God’s word, the words of scripture. And that means to ponder it, so that we end up treasuring those words in our hearts, even as Mary treasured in her heart what was said about her infant son, Jesus.

It is not memorizing, though that can be helpful. Instead, it is considering what is meant as it were in God’s presence, with the help of God’s Spirit. It is tossing and turning those words in our heads, so to speak, to see what God might be saying to us, or simply what God is saying.

Certainly meditation does not set aside the need to read scripture well, and study it, particularly with word studies.

Meditation should be something we engage in as much as possible as the heart of our day so that we might have something of the heart of God for us, and out through us to others. It involves a commitment.

I like to carry around a little Bible, preferably a New Testament (maybe with Psalms and Proverbs), with a complete Bible, for me nowadays, preferably large print, close at hand. And I use a small metal clip to mark where I’m at, so that I can get there at a moment’s notice. I actually use three such smaller Bibles: one for work, one for work at home, and one for my normal everyday activities.

With that and my coffee, I’m content. Anything beyond that can be helpful, like a good book and classical music playing. But that should be where we start as Christians, people of God, and our prayers should be largely in response to that. Hearing God’s word, and praying in accordance with that. In and through Jesus.

we know Jesus, but more importantly, he knows us (and a lesson in the importance of reading the Bible in context)

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.

John 10:14-15

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.

John 10:27-28

I had another good reminder just this morning of the importance of reading in context, and specifically, I’m thinking of scripture. At work, and at home, I have an ongoing practice of going over scripture slowly during the course of a day, sometimes too slowly, especially if I’m at home, occupied with other things. There is good in this in that it seems like scripture itself advocates a meditation which comes from reading, likely slow reading at that, rather than the emphasis on studying scripture. Thanks to an old acquaintance and servant of Christ, Jim Egli, who pointed this out to me. Not to say that normal reading, or listening to scripture isn’t good, even important and necessary. Along with occasionally studying something, such as the meaning of a word.

Recently at work I was impressed with Jesus saying at a certain key part in his dispute with the people of his day that he knows his sheep. That was a rather cloudy day for me in my spiritual vision, so to see that what is most fundamental when all is said and done is that the Lord knows us, even if we are struggling to have the sense of knowing him, was an encouragement. And actually these words from Paul line up with that:

Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?

Galatians 4

I realized in looking at John 10 this morning, that actually there is a strong emphasis on us knowing the Lord, as well as the Lord knowing us. Both are important. Sometimes like sheep, we can and will indeed feel lost. During those times it is good to take as much comfort as we can gather in the knowledge that the Lord knows us through and through, even if we are struggling to sense our knowledge of him. But we do know the Lord as well, even though, unlike him, our spiritual vision will at times be weak.

A good point, I take it, and also a good lesson in the importance of reading scripture in context. May we meditate, as we read scripture slowly, but may we also read all of it, and keep doing both, so that we might grow together with others in Jesus in an interactive relationship with God through the Spirit.

a thought processor

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Luke 2

Mary, the mother of our Lord was surely one of the very wise people of her day. Think of what she had to go through in her lifetime, as a young woman bearing a child from a miraculous conception which was seen as scandalous. Seeing Jesus for thirty years, growing up and evidently taking on himself Joseph’s work, then at last in what would seem to be a whirlwind ministry cut short by a death which Simeon had prophesied to her before. And then seeing the Lord appear after his resurrection, perhaps witnessing the ascension, and being in prayer before the Spirit was poured out, and remaining for a time after that. What she went through was epoch, certainly unusual and immense.

And Mary seems to have been a thought processor. She maybe didn’t have a ready answer for many things, but gathered her thoughts over time from what she witnessed and from the input of others.

I see myself that way, as a thought processor. I try to be in scripture, in prayer, and aware of something of what is going on in the world, of the culture. We are all quite limited in ourselves, and we certainly try to gather from each other. And above all, I want to receive from God, from God’s word through the Spirit in and through Jesus.

After the magnificent Magnificat, called Mary’s Song (Luke 1), which itself is quite a wonder surely from what she had gathered over time beginning in childhood, we read next to nothing from her lips in scripture. But at least one of the gospel writers, surely Luke was one of them, talked with her, gathering both the knowledge and wisdom she had gathered through the years. And I have come to realize that we often can learn much in the way of our Lord from seeing others who often really don’t have that much to say. Their lives and manner of going about things speaks volumes, helping us to sense something of the Spirit, hopefully rubbing off on us in God’s working to make us more like Jesus.

And so that is my goal: to dial down, lay low and keep processing, keep listening to what others have gathered, while being aware of life, with a heart to keep looking to God for God’s word to me from his word in and through Jesus.

the need for strict, ongoing self-discipline

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

1 Corinthians 9

They say we often eat to feed not really our bodies, but our minds or hearts. That we do so from being troubled. The Christian life contra some of the early church fathers is not meant to be one of harshly treating the body. Not at all! Read Paul’s words in Colossians:

Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

Of course the Christian ascetics did not have such a worldly system in mind in their fasting for the sake of Christ, and for their own spiritual good, so it is different. Yet the sameness might exist in thinking that harsh treatment of the body in itself can do good, as if the body is the enemy of the soul, a neo-Platonic way of thinking which surely infiltrated the church, even probably noticeable in perhaps the greatest of the church fathers, Augustine.

And yet Paul minced no words in the Corinthians passage quoted above. We by grace either discipline ourselves, and specifically our body, or we place ourselves in danger of losing out with reference to all that is ours in Christ. How God rewards in the end, I don’t think we can be sure, though we may have some inklings. But there are certainly some lines we’re not to cross in this life. We must pull out all stops to stop dead in our tracks, and not go past certain lines we might even be rushing headlong to. And we need to work on an agenda in which we are following a different path altogether.

And even if we have failed, that gives us no excuse to excuse ourselves from Paul’s example here. We need to do so all the more. We are weak in ourselves for sure. We need God’s grace to help us through. And we need sheer determination to persevere in that grace and not let up.

They say our brains are one of our most important physical organs. The brain does better with the extra flow of oxygen which comes from good physical exercise. And the mind certainly can affect the body. We surely need to have our hearts and minds set on Christ, and on the things of heaven where Christ is, someday destined to come to earth, and already present now by the Spirit. But we need to take heed of our focus, in order to have the kind of discipline Paul refers to in 1 Corinthians. Paul’s words there should be considered in their context. And interestingly enough, Paul’s warning in Colossians is followed up with the counsel to focus on Christ and might even seem austere by today’s standards. It is referring to a spiritual discipline, but there is no such discipline in which our bodies are not involved. Our bodies are part of our real selves.

And so what we do and don’t do does matter. God has indeed richly given us all things for our enjoyment, so that we’re not to deny ourselves of the good of creation (1 Timothy). But we must avoid counterfeit gods, which can include even our own stomachs (Philippians 3), and sometimes might involve making some major changes. Our goal is to pursue Christ and likeness to him until the very end. May God grant us the grace to do so together in and through him.