waiting in silence

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall never be shaken.

How long will you assail a person,
will you batter your victim, all of you,
as you would a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
Their only plan is to bring down a person of prominence.
They take pleasure in falsehood;
they bless with their mouths,
but inwardly they curse. Selah

For God alone my soul waits in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my deliverance and my honor;
my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah

Those of low estate are but a breath;
those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
they are together lighter than a breath.
Put no confidence in extortion,
and set no vain hopes on robbery;
if riches increase, do not set your heart on them.

Once God has spoken;
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
and steadfast love belongs to you, O Lord.
For you repay to all
according to their work.

Psalm 62; NRSVue

We live in a noisy, restless (see CEB) world. Humans act as if everything depends on them, as if they’re in the place of God. Lip service might be given to God, but at best only to help them achieve their lofty goal. When it comes right down to it, they function as their own god, with maybe some help from God on the side, when and if they need it.

Those of us who have faith would not imagine ourselves to be atheists. But what if when all is said and done, we largely function as practical atheists? We act as if all depends on us. This takes place on an individual level in our individualistic western mindset, and also on other levels. If we just have it together and do the right thing, if we just get the right people on city council, if we vote for the right candidates on the local, state and national levels, if we elect the right president. And if we don’t? Then all “goes to hell in a handbasket.”

Scripture, certainly the psalms takes seriously what we do. As the psalm ends, “For you repay to all according to their work.” But where does our confidence lie? In the US, we have money with the words, “In God we trust.” But actions can belie that, words blanketed out with the panicked thoughts that unless we get it right, unless we do it, unless we get the right people elected, unless we have the right ones on court, etc., then we’ll be lost. Nothing about God in that, even if they say it’s all about God. Force by laws or even physical force is not out of the equation. How much of God is really in this?

But what about the rest of us who despise such religious undertaking? Are we any better? After all, we might well imagine that we have to battle back, that we have to do all we can, get the right people elected, get the right laws in place, hopefully better laws and policies. And yet, for what good might be in such thoughts, we act as if it all depends on us and how the election turns out. For all practical purposes God is either out of the picture, or there just to help us succeed.

But what if for starters at the beginning we drop all of that? What if we commit to wait on God in silence ourselves and with others? What if we’re committed to not only letting God get a word in edgewise now and then, but have the floor at all times, the first and the last word, and everything in between?

For the psalmist here, as well as in many other psalms, it’s not like life isn’t challenging and even threatening at times. Even so, the call is to wait in silence, to wait, to do so in silence, our hope only in God. To pour out our hearts to God. Not wavering from the commitment to act in nothing more than God’s will and all God provides.

trusting God

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own insight.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
It will be a healing for your flesh
and a refreshment for your body.

Proverbs 3:5-8; NRSVue

A mentor and good friend, my senior in more ways than one often tells me something like, “Trust God,” although the way he expresses it seems better than just that. The words you hope go deep down into your soul, your very being, and change you, a likely gradual change with many fits and starts, steps forward and a step or two back. It seems to us as humans that life is up to us. We either make it work or not, do the right thing or fail to do it. But the wisdom of Proverbs has a different take on this.

First, the necessity of a wholehearted, unreserved trust in God. Well, what are we going to get perfect in this life (or I wonder myself, in any life, for that matter)? We should never look for some kind of perfection in trying to “trust and obey.” It should be a commitment. Something like, “God, I really don’t get this well. It doesn’t jive with my experience. But I’m committed to it, entirely so, as much as I know how, only through your grace and help.” Something like that.

The next word is just as important, because when push comes to shove, we just naturally go to our default. We’re not to lean or rely on our own insight. It seems like some serious unlearning is likely in play here for most of us. I will grant exceptions, like in the case of my wife, who has the most wonderful, childlike (not childish) faith in God. For whatever reasons, although I think I’ve made significant progress, I still struggle in my faith. I like to understand just how things work and lacking that, I find it hard to trust. It seems to me that I have to accept that there’s something of mystery, mysticism, just not being able to grasp exactly all that is at play here, God’s ways, so that I have to trust both the process and outcome that is in God’s hands, and that, in spite of the inevitable mistakes I’ll make along the way.

Next is the word that we’re to, in my words, look to God in all of our circumstances, with the promise that God will make straight our paths. The NET footnote (verse 6) is helpful here. I think the NIV and NLT are also helpful here.

in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:6; NIV

Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:6; NLT

Acknowledging God means to depend on, trust in, and be obedient/submissive to. I like the idea in the NLT of seeking God’s will in all we do, but I admit, I’m a bit skeptical of the rendering suggesting that God will show us which path to take. Maybe that is the case in the sense that as we apply wisdom, we can make a good, reasonable decision at that moment in time, the process not free from trial and error, and never infallible. And as it says elsewhere in Proverbs (11:14; 15:22), not apart from the wise counsel of others. At the very least, God will honor our full commitment to trust and obey God, insofar as we understand that.

The final word here is to not be wise in our own eyes, but to fear God and turn away from evil, with the promise that as we do so, we will be refreshed in body and spirit. I do experience something of this, even if not as much as I should, due to my all too often weak faith. No matter what hangs over my head, or what lies ahead, I can find something of God’s rest.

As my brother, friend and mentor keeps reminding me, “Trust God.” Yes, it may seem trite, something many of us have heard in some form or another since our childhood days in Sunday School. But it can make a world of difference, the difference we definitely need.

living in a world short of perfection

Vanity of vanities, says the Teacher; all is vanity.

Besides being wise, the Teacher also taught the people knowledge, weighing and studying and arranging many proverbs. The Teacher sought to find pleasing words, and he wrote words of truth plainly.

The sayings of the wise are like goads, and like nails firmly fixed are the collected sayings that are given by one shepherd. Of anything beyond these, my child, beware. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments, for that is the whole duty of everyone. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every secret thing, whether good or evil.

Ecclesiastes 12:8-14; NRSVue

I love Ecclesiastes. I don’t pretend to know what the best interpretation of it is. There’s a standard, traditional one, but when you turn to the scholars and their commentaries on the book, there’s fascinating disagreement and differences. Perhaps that’s part of the charm of the book: one gets the gist of it but is left with a lot of questions. Faith I think thrives best with questions, not with answers, thinking we have the answer to everything, or indeed the final answer to anything. Yes, faith is grounded in God, in God’s promise in Christ, in God’s Word, so there’s absolutely no flagging from that. But a book like Ecclesiastes along with much else in the sacred text often raises more questions than giving answers.

What prompts me to write this is just the puzzlement of living in a condition in which there is not only serious though mostly relatively rare dangers like gun shootings and the like, but nagging concerns, like lead in the house, especially thinking about children with reference to that, lead even in some otherwise healthy foods because of the soil, asbestos in various materials and places, etc., etc. Things like that. And I tend to be a perfectionist, wanting to take care of any and every problem so that there’s no potential hurt to anyone. I’m glad that other folks can see it all better in context which in part is why community is so important, and in my thinking and practice the community in Jesus, the fellowship of the saints, the church. And I’m thankful for sites online like Wikipedia, etc., which can help us to sort through such things.

But back to Ecclesiastes. It may seem strange for me to cite that book when thinking about this. I really don’t have a proof text from there directly applicable to it, though “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity” may come close. Ecclesiastes seems to me in part to be a book about how life in itself, by itself, even with all its enjoyment and fulfillment will still leave us short and in the end unsatisfied. As the book concludes, we’re to fear God and keep God’s commandments. And the beauty and wonder of that is God is love and we can trust God to help us make good, responsible decisions along the way, all the while realizing that final perfection is not present in this old, broken world, even as that’s true of ourselves while we strive for perfection especially together in love in our following of Christ. But the arrival of such is part of our hope and longing, in the new world to come. In the meantime, we carry on especially together with this awareness in the love and with the help of God.

in the difficult places

Once while Jesus was standing beside the Lake of Gennesaret and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gotten out of them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to burst. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’s knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” For he and all who were with him were astounded at the catch of fish that they had taken, and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.” When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.

Luke 5:1-11; NRSVue

But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’s knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!”

Luke 5:8; NRSVue

There are those times that seem especially difficult, when we seem up against it, unfit and barely able to do what we’re committed and willing to do. And as one Bible teacher I know said, struggle is the default in which we live. I like those times when I feel primed and ready to go. It is interesting though, how such instances have fallen flat, not all the time, but sometimes. That might have been because I was not sufficiently depending and even cast on God.

In the episode recounted in the above passage, Peter felt full of self-doubt and a sense unworthiness, well aware of his own weaknesses and sin. But even though Peter was not aware of it at the time, that put him in a good position for God’s blessing. If we’re full of ourselves, and think everything is okay, God might let some of that go, but not for long. The only way we’ll grow and actually be able to respond to God’s call is if we acknowledge our sin and weakness to God. The Lord meets us in those places.

An encouragement to me, since I often find myself there.

always praying

So the leaders partook of their provisions and did not ask direction from the LORD.

Joshua 9:14; NRSVue

In an admittedly difficult passage of a story in a bygone age, we have something that for me sticks out and reminds me of failures or at least shortcomings in my own life. In what has been called the Gibeon deception, “the Gibeonites save themselves by trickery” (NRSVue heading). They succeeded because Israel did not ask direction from God. I have to ask myself when I’ve been lax and haven’t prayed as I ought with results that were at least difficult, not good.

Yes, you can pray a lot, asking for God’s direction, and still experience what might be well considered hardship and at least much difficulty. But you keep praying. As long as you’re seeking direction from God, you shouldn’t be too worked up about it. We pray and pray and pray and try to make the best decisions we can. That’s what it boils down to.

We have to live with the consequences of more or less prayerless times when we at least did not pray as we ought to have. And we should navigate that with much prayer. From this time on we can pray about that and everything and keep praying. Always praying.

“this can come out only through prayer”

When they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them and some scribes arguing with them. When the whole crowd saw him, they were immediately overcome with awe, and they ran forward to greet him. He asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?” Someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought you my son; he has a spirit that makes him unable to speak, and whenever it seizes him, it dashes him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid, and I asked your disciples to cast it out, but they could not do so.” He answered them, “You faithless generation, how much longer must I be with you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him to me.” And they brought the boy to him. When the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. It has often cast him into the fire and into the water, to destroy him; but if you are able to do anything, help us! Have compassion on us!” Jesus said to him, “If you are able! All things can be done for the one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” When Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You spirit that keeps this boy from speaking and hearing, I command you, come out of him, and never enter him again!” After crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he was able to stand. When he had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?” He said to them, “This kind can come out only through prayer.”

Mark 9:14-29; NRSVue

When they came to the crowd, a man came to him, knelt before him, and said, “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he has epilepsy and suffers terribly; he often falls into the fire and often into the water. And I brought him to your disciples, but they could not cure him.” Jesus answered, “You faithless and perverse generation, how much longer must I be with you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him here to me.” And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him, and the boy was cured from that moment. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17:14-21; NRSVue

According to most Bible scholars, Mark’s telling of this story likely precedes Matthew’s. In the two gospel accounts, this occurs right after Jesus comes down from the mount after his transfiguration, along with Peter, James and John who had accompanied him there. The rest of the disciples were left with a human dilemma, what turned out to be a test, which they did not pass. Jesus expresses consternation over his disciples not being able to deal with this.

Both gospel accounts are so instructive for us today. According to Mark, Jesus makes it plain in the end that disciples can deal with only such matters through prayer. In Matthew’s version, Jesus tells them that they have little faith, and that if only they would have faith the size of a mustard seed, they would be able to take care of such human problems put before them.

I think this is so telling for us here and now, or in any place or time. There are certain things which won’t improve except through prayer. In fact, what is it that is difficult and sometimes impossible for humans -and in a sense we can say that all is since all of us are created to be in communion with God, in dependence on God and interdependence on each other- where prayer is not needed?. So prayer is a necessity in casting out evil, in dealing with any trouble. Along the way, we might need that kind of prayer ourselves. And as followers of Christ, we need to be primed to always be in prayer for others in this way in the most difficult and dark places.

Why don’t we do this? According to Matthew, Jesus says it’s because we have such “little faith.” I am seeing more and more the need to be aware of the wrongs around us, beginning even with ourselves and what is closest to us, and going out from there into all the world. Of course we’re limited, but what is at hand for us, what is concerning and disconcerting is the point here. We need to have the faith to be in prayer. That needs to be a prime point of what we do, of our existence. All the rest will follow. Something I want to live into and grow in.

giving up on praying is not an option

He was praying in a certain place, and after he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” So he said to them, “When you pray, say:

Father, may your name be revered as holy.
May your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread.
And forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us.
And do not bring us to the time of trial.”

And he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, for a friend of mine has arrived, and I have nothing to set before him.’ And he answers from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything out of friendship, at least because of his persistence he will get up and give him whatever he needs.

“So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asked for a fish, would give a snake instead of a fish? Or if the child asked for an egg, would give a scorpion? If you, then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Luke 11:1-13

We have words from the Lord to teach us how to pray, and simply encouraging us to pray, period. The Spirit helps us as well, and this is especially encouraging because while prayer is something we do, it won’t get through or matter apart from God’s help. But we can be assured that God will help us. We simply must persist. Giving up on prayer is not an option.

What happens at least to me in weakness is that somehow I think I’m short on time to pray. But just the opposite is the case. We can’t afford not to pray. We don’t have time not to pray. There’s actually nothing more important we can do, though rest assured, if we truly pray, we will be doing other things as well. It’s entirely possible that we won’t do as much or get as much done. Though actually we may get more done, certainly in a way that’s better. Apart from prayer, what are we really doing? It will turn out as far as God’s economy is concerned, not very much.

Something like what I’m slowly learning and have to keep coming back to time and again.

God meets us exactly where we’re at for the help we need

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
from where will my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2

“God helps those who help themselves.” Not really. God helps those who look to God for help. It’s not like God doesn’t help people who don’t call on God’s name. Yes, God does. But God honors those who do call out to God and seek to trust and be committed to God, seeking God and God’s will, wanting to live in God’s way.

But we have to settle into the mode that neither circumstances nor life itself depend on us for the needed answer. Instead we need to look to God for God’s help in giving us wisdom and direction and peace. No matter what the situation, even hard places, God will help. Yes, in the darkness, in the worst of times as well as in the best of times. We need only to look up in prayer, expectation and wonder.

learning to lean

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own insight.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

There are many things it would be good for us to get over in this life. One of them is our tendency to have an unhealthy self-reliance in which we think it all depends on us. That we have to figure things out, yes- maybe even with God’s help, but that it still depends on us.

Somehow God includes us in this, but it never depends on us, that is if we’re intent in doing it in the way of wisdom as given to us here. We don’t have the weight of anything fully on us. Whatever weight is on us should come from what God gives us, not what we take on ourselves.  But for that to be the case, we’re going to have to become intent on learning to lean. “Lean not on your own understanding” being the probably better-known translation of “do not rely on your own insight.”

This needs to become a part of who we are, what we’re becoming. In and through Jesus.

continuing on in weakness

This is the third time I am coming to you. “Any charge must be sustained by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” I warned those who sinned previously and all the others, and I warn them now while absent, as I did when present on my second visit, that if I come again I will not be lenient— since you desire proof that Christ is speaking in me. He is not weak in dealing with you but is powerful in you. For he was crucified in weakness but lives by the power of God. For we are weak in him, but in dealing with you we will live with him by the power of God.

2 Corinthians 13:1-4; NRSVue

Paul ran up against some of the expectations out there today. Charismatic, flashy, powerful preaching in a way that somehow is appealing. Let’s add to that a kind of personality that just draws people in and with always the right word. I doubt myself that Paul had much of any of that. It seems like instead that he was characterized by weakness. There’s the thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment him which we find in the previous chapter. He was a person who not only was looked on by others as weak, but who lived out a felt weakness. And learned to do so, even delighting in that, since Christ’s power became evident in that.

But did that make it easy for Paul? Or was he not tempted to wish such would be removed. Yes, I think at least early on such was probably the case, that he indeed still would have wished the weakness to be removed. But later on, I’m guessing that he had learned to live that way as simply part of his identity, who he was in and with Christ. That he was sharing our Lord’s weakness in a cruciform way, and thus sharing in the resurrection power and life accompanying that.

For me, I really would rather not feel weak and even oppressed at times. But that’s where I live so much of the time. That doesn’t come without trial, and too often feeling on edge, so that I can be edgy myself. But because of that I am much more in prayer than what I would be otherwise, at least in prayers of weakness. I don’t think people have to feel this to be people of prayer. But I also think in some measure that this is meant to be the experience of all who follow Christ, who take the way of the cross. And that helps me to go on, believing that God is with us in a peculiar, saving way for ourselves and others in that weakness. In and through Jesus.